In Times Past

Sometimes I wonder how I lost my life.  What I'm doing now is what I should have been doing all along, but somehow I got blinded to that fact until nearly half my life was over.  Now I feel like I'm having to play catch up.

I grew up in the 60s and 70s.  "They" told us that women should no longer be at home.  We should get out of the house and conquer the world.  We didn't need husbands and families, we needed boardrooms, resumes and portfolios.  We were strong and we had to get out and show it.  And we bought it.  Hook, line and sinker.

We went forth to conquer, blinded by the promises of a better life.  What we didn't realize was that it wasn't necessarily a better life just a different one.  That's great, if you like different.  I thought I did.  Now that I'm hitting half a century on the planet here, I'm not so sure that I do.

When I came of age, I did what I was suppose to do.  I walked out with my degree in hand, ready to show what a woman could do.  I got a job in a man's world and pursued a career by going up, over and around the obstacles before me.  I blazed a trail.  Now I'm wondering why.

This year I am turning 50 years old.  I am divorced with no children, and retired from a job that simply hired someone else to take my place the moment I left. 

As depressing as that sounds, I'm happier now than I have been in years.  I have chosen the life I am leading now and though it is contrary to a woman out conquering the world, it brings me more contentment that I've had in many years.  My home and my garden, my little farmette fill me with a sense of purpose more solidly than my career ever did.  I salute those women who charge into corporate lives with gusto and desire.  May they find what they are looking for.  What we should never look down on though are those women who feel their calling is the old style life of looking after home and hearth.  Once we allow women to choose where they find their purpose, we truely will have conquered the world.